


You Ruin Me

by Masterpwn



Category: Doctor Who, Doctor Who & Related Fandoms, Doctor Who (2005)
Genre: Angst, Post-Episode: s02e13 Doomsday
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-02-16
Updated: 2015-02-16
Packaged: 2018-03-13 04:53:06
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 475
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3368558
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Masterpwn/pseuds/Masterpwn
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>A lot of things have been ruined all throughout the Doctor's travels, but he's never been more ruined (but not essentially in a bad way) before he met Rose Tyler. Post-Doomsday contemplation.</p>
            </blockquote>





	You Ruin Me

**Author's Note:**

> Not entirely sure what this is, but it happened.

_You ruin me in all the best ways._

I'm a Time Lord, I'm above all this. Well, I guess I was but I'll never admit any change. Ever since I took your hand in the basement of that department store, I was destined for ruin. In all kinds of great ways, mind, but completely ruined.

Ever since you put on that Victorian Era gown before heading out into Cardiff, you've ruined my ability to speak. That's saying something, really. You know what a gob I have on me.

Ever since you stood up and said "do it" when you didn't even know my plan in spite of all risk, you ruined all previous images of bravery I've ever seen before.

Ever since you stopped me from blasting that Dalek to smithereens in Van Statten's bunker, you ruined all my defenses. You saw me at my weakest and it only made you love me more. You were so compassionate. Such an terrible being could change with just a touch from you, Rose. I'm not just talking about the Dalek.

Ever since you became the Bad Wolf, you've ruined my ability to hide it. To hide how much I've come to care for you. Why couldn't it all be remembered? Things could have been so different.

And then I changed. You ruined my expectations, you still saw me for who I was. The Doctor, _your_ Doctor. I formed this body the best I could with you in mind, my hand was literally made to fit in yours, and you still want to hold it.

Ever since Krop Tor, my ability to deny how I love you has been ruined, even if I don't voice it to anyone but myself.

Ever since you said _forever_ , I knew it would end, but it never ruined my hope that it wouldn't.

I saw the storm approaching. I didn't see what it would ruin.

_You ruined me in all the worst ways, too._

Ever since you disappeared on that beach, you've ruined the sense that I was whole, because I'm not anymore.

You ruined my hearts, I don't think they can be started up again. At least in a metaphorical sense.

You ruined my chance to ever feel for another how I once felt towards you.

You ruined my already weakened defenses, and so I shoved everything away from my hearts.

You nearly ruined my will to live. Good thing there was someone there to stop me.

 

There's one that is not ruined, however. I still have a hope. It keeps me going day to day, my only reason to keep going out there and being the Doctor you helped me to be. You've always been known to defy the impossible. Maybe you'll defy it one more time.

Until then, maybe there'll be someone to help me hold it all together.


End file.
